no one's first, and you're next.

064.

2006-12-20T08:12:01Z

what a waste.
what a fucking waste.

063.

2006-12-07T08:58:41Z

my life is lame.

062.

2006-11-27T02:18:59Z

blowjob sandwhich.

061.

2006-11-25T21:25:27Z

not much to say...

my turtle died the day before thanksgiving. that was wonderful. i dread the thought of arizona. i miss new jersey constantly. i've spent almost a month with casey already. i don't want to go back home. uhh...

i start school soon. yay? ah fuckkk it. i've lost all interest in livejournal.

060.

2006-11-17T05:54:29Z

i don't really use this anymore...

059.

2006-11-08T22:37:15Z

seriously, why did i even come home? for what? to hear my father yell every fucking minute of every fucking day. huge fight just occured and he's going to kick me out. honestly? i don't give a fuck. i hate it here, i hate this state, i hate everything about this place, and i'm starting to hate him. i want to go back to casey's...and i want to go back to jersey. i hate my life so much right now.

ps: that fucking cop who hit ME is sueing me. heh, go figure.

058.

2006-11-05T09:13:12Z

i simply do not understand the male species at all. to play games, shout, and laugh obnoxiously is easy, but to lay down and cuddle with your girlfriend is simply too hard to accomplish. it's been awhile since i've gotten some loving. sick or not, i just want to hug. :[

057.

2006-11-05T07:57:31Z

dear god,

kill me.

love, sarah.

ps. see borat.

056.

2006-11-04T05:28:01Z

i'm just going to sit here and tell myself that it's my period that's making me feel this way. it's my period that makes me feel unappreciated; not the lack of thank you's.

055.

2006-11-01T21:48:13Z

i hate arizona, so now i'm in california, but i can't say that's any better. ugh, just take me back to jersey.

054.

2006-10-26T05:59:23Z

i hate it here. i want to go back home, to new jersey.

053.

2006-10-09T06:18:25Z

well, that time has come. i will never, ever, see my home of eighteen years again. as of right now, i'm staying in a hotel on 17 until wednesday, and then begin my journey to motherfucking buckeye, arizona &should be there by next sunday. aye, kill me now. at least i'll see casey that week. yay-men to that shit.

i love you new jersey. :[

052.

2006-10-08T00:06:45Z

too bad things can't stay amazing. i simply give up.

052.

2006-10-02T00:42:52Z

my week was amazing. things felt different this time; i felt closer to him than usual. it was lovely, and there were barely any disagreements/fights, you name it. the first night spent with him, he said things to me he doesn't normally say in such an open way. parting ways with him was absolutely brutal. i was a wreck, and it was even worse than any other time. we almost ran away together, and as stupid as that sounds, i really wish we would have done it.

but, i'm not going to sit &cry anymore. in move in eight days &then i'll be in arizona. in about three weeks, i'll be speeding down the arizona freeways into the california ones, making my way to pick up my boy, and from there on, we'll have a somewhat normal relationship; seeing him every weekend &finally closing the first chapter of our lives and moving into our second one.

i can't wait for thursday. it's our two year anniversary. :]
god, i love love love him. ♥

051.

2006-09-22T21:22:29Z

i see casey in about seven hours. :]
i hope his flight goes well. always scares me when me boy is in the air.
sigh.

050.

2006-09-20T08:26:08Z

leaving mouth to mouth.
dreaming aloud.
and if i ever need my coat again...
and it looks like summer and it feels like summer than it must be somewhere else.
you're not the first...
but you're the only one to even come close enough to counting.
don't cry when i leave...
and i'll be perfectly happy.
we can't take drinks in.
where a circus acts under the table.
locked in a room, trapped in a cradle.
and if the ocean starts to cover our feet, we'll know we're happy.

aye, i miss my sista. we talked on the phone tonight and it really made me happy. so much has changed in such a short period of time, the thought is rather overwhelming. damn you life, and your sudden changes &fast paces.

casey countdown: two days. :]

049.

2006-09-19T07:55:49Z

you can kinda see the reddish tint here...

whatev. i like it. anyway, today sucked. as usual. why wouldn't things go well? i've lost my best friend &my boyfriend isn't in a very good mood. aye friday, where art thou?

penis.

048.

2006-09-17T21:39:51Z

fights. as usual. the only decent news is casey's confirmation that he can come up friday. so fucking excited. so fucking anxious. last night was a good night. my mother bought me an awesome blazer/jacket &peppermint lip gloss that cost eight bucks, but was well worth it. mmm makes me lips feel amazing. &we bought casey a t-shirt he's wanted forever. makes me happy knowing i've made him happy.

aye...so i was in arizona not too long ago. different...very different, but nice, none-the-less. found the school i'll be attending &talked to the owner/principal of it. very nice...very hyper, lady. awesome school, however. rated number one in arizona, i believe. but, new jersey still holds my heart.

rania's been a bitch, lately. in fact, i can't even stand her anymore. i knew this friendship was bullshit. all she does is bitch...bitchbitchbitch. christ, be thankful for what you've got, asshole. ugh, and it's always her way or no way. hey hey, FUCK YOU. that's what i think.

i dyed my hair again today. i tinted the brown into a red. a red you can only see in the light. i used manic panic, so the "stunning highlights" is definately promising. makes me happy. so, it's brown &black underneath in the dark, and tinted red-brown &black underneath in the light.

mmm applesauce.

047.

2006-09-03T09:29:04Z

My MySpace layout makes me smile. [www.myspace.com/ceciiii]

There's an obvious reason why I am not sleeping.
Yeah, I'm not tired. And have way too much on my mind.

Sometimes I wonder...I really really do.

Tra la la...

I'm going to miss you guys when I'm moving, haha. I'll have no PC or anything.

Sigh. Burp. Fart. Grunt. Laughter.

None of that happened, by the way.

Bored, so bored. And I'm loving the gaps in between each of these sentences.

SAVE ME.

POSTNOTE:

I bought two insanely cute tank tops today, a cute yellow hoodie, and a green shoulder-less top. :]

046.

2006-08-30T07:57:52Z

let's start off with something:

basically.

anywho, lately there's been lots of drama...lots and lots of drama. not too sure where to begin. oh yeah, nowhere. sick of thinking about it, sick of even knowing it exists. i forgave for the last time this weekend. let's leave it at that.

tonight i must have thrown up about 394894953 times. if you're from the nothern new jersey area, i highly suggest you don't try "six brother's diner" because it's nothing but shit. yeah, end of story. the only highlight was the extremely hot guy sitting next to us. LAWL AT HIM CHECKING ME OUT. cracks me up.

rania cannot park her car. cracks me up, too. as you can clearly see here:

she is just about over the line, far away from the line she should be at, and really far back. took us until we left the diner to realize this. but whatevz, we got a good chuckle out of it.

anywhos, i've been on this diet since i've arrived home from california. yeah, it's actually the "let's not eat nearly as much and perhaps walk once in awhile" diet. it's been working! so yeah. keep up the good work, fatass.

tonight is provoke your kitty night.

as you can see, i'm all for this holiday i just made up ten minutes ago.

and that is my not so interesting life. kill me.

045.

2006-08-25T20:42:12Z

Alexis: I'm sorry for signing off last night without saying goodbye! We have a lot to talk about.

044.

2006-08-24T04:04:10Z

I am fully aware that I have no say whatsoever in who he talks to, but it doesn't mean I can't hate it! And I FUCKING hate it! I don't think that bitch is worth his two cents after the shit she pulled on him two years ago. Sure, people change. I don't care. I still hate her.

Wee!

Oh yeah, I went to Bingo tonight. (ROTFLMFAOYEAHIKNOW) Some lady yelled at me. WHOOPS. Sorry, didn't know. I don't waste my time dotting numbers every Wednesday.

043.

2006-08-23T08:40:35Z

It's about 4:30am. &I am awake. I'm not too certain as to why this is, but I wish I was a tad bit sleepy. Tonight was one of those nights I wished I didn't need to experience. It was quite possibly the last time I could see a few friends of mine for a very long time. I hung out with Shakira, Angel, and a very close friend of mine, Valis. Valis &I hung out on her roof while nostalgia kicked in, and I began to realize just how much I'm going to miss everyone and everything. It saddened me quite a bit.

Later on that night, I had a conversation with Michele, and it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, but it hurt me knowing the plans we made are possibly some of the last ones we'll ever make for a long time, too. I guess for awhile now I've been speaking of events such as these, and I felt alright during so, but now that the actual time has arrived, I feel overwhelmed with mixed emotions and feelings. It's stressful, really.

I also began talking to a very old friend of mine. We're not exactly buddy/buddy, but we're on good terms. It was nice to hear from her...awkward, but nice, nonetheless, and it added on to the nostalgia. I hope we keep speaking because granted we've had bad times, if you think about it, we were only kids.

But, of course, granted all my emotions of sadness are catching up to me, at least my emotions of happiness will eventually show. Soon enough I will be hours away BY CAR from Casey, and will be able to see him every weekened, or whenever I damn well please. You haven't any clue as to how I feel about this. I'm just so enthralled and excited, and full of happiness and joy. I can't believe we're finally overcoming a near two-year obstacle that has kept us apart for so long. Instead of every four months, or every two months, it's every weekend now. And as soon as we overcome that, it's everyday. Every single day. God, this move may be sad for my memories, but god is it happy for my future. And as far as I'm concered, Casey is my future.

I love that boy.♥

PS: (For Valis)

"What're you, trying to live vicariously through my sex life? Get the fuck out."
"Add up your age and my age and you've got my IQ. Subtract your age from mine and you've got your's."
"OH...-chapstick-"

042.

2006-08-18T02:59:54Z

It's killing me. The thought of leaving him is killing me. Sure, I've made some angry entries, but it was only fights. Fights end, but love never does. I just can't leave him. Five weeks of nothing but pure amazement and now...it's over? Where the hell does the time go? I can't bear to leave him again. I can't. I'm so thankful this is the last time I'll ever have to be 3,000 miles away from him. Soon I'll only be hours away by car. I can't wait. I can't fucking wait. Fuck missing New Jersey. I love it to death, but God, I love Casey so much more.

041.

2006-08-17T00:37:58Z

I'm going to the Padres game tonight with Casey. We're taking the trolley and everything. It should be a nice time, indeed.

And although I am severely homesick, the thought of leaving on Saturday keeps breaking me heart.